Michael A. Arnzen

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Information about the author.

Works

Grave Markings

Michael A. Arnzen

Living in pain, an insane, egomaniacal tattoo artist is obsessed with the mad images in his mind and the need for recognition, so he seeks new flesh to fulfill his ambition…

Proverbs for Monsters

Michael A. Arnzen

You can catch a good human with a bad hamburger

Proverbs For Monsters is an omnibus of the best writing to date by one the most offbeat and humorous writers working in the horror genre today, Michael A. Arnzen. Hand picked by the author, these are the stories “flash fictions,” and poems most cherished by readers, most enjoyed at live performances, most celebrated by editor of year’s best collections, and most recommended for literary awards from across his career.

An infant vampire bites hardest

In Proverbs For Monsters you’ll get advice for growing your own maneating plant. You’ll ride the movies at Exorcystland—the scariest amusement park ever created. You’ll attend a bizarre grade school for assassins. You’ll meet a dentist with a very disturbing collection of baby teeth. You’ll encounter strange children—from the boy who carries his heart in a metal case attached to his chest to the girl who is completely encased in the carapace of her own giant scab. You’ll ride a deseased elephant and witness the death of the last vampire and learn…

Freakcidents: A Surrealist Sideshow

Michael A. Arnzen

Thirty disturbing—and perversely hilarious—poems of mutancy by Michael Arnzen, the Bram Stoker Award-Winning author of Grave Markings, generously illustrated with the bizarre imaginings of GAK. If you dare to peek inside this twisted tent, you’ll find such freaks, mutants, morons and sideshow splattractions as...

100 Jolts: Shockingly Short Stories

Michael A. Arnzen

“Horror is the genre of the jolt, the shock, the spark. The horror story’s conflict is always a matter of life and death, but death…almost always comes too soon—that’s why we fear it.” —Michael A. Arnzen

And now readers have a new reason to be afraid. One hundred new reasons!

Gorelets: Unpleasant Poems

Michael A. Arnzen

Gorelets is a collection of “sudden horror poetry”: 52 ultra short shockers guaranteed to make you squirm!

Originally written on (and for) handheld computers as part of a successful online experiment at Arnzen’s gorelets.com, each of these little “caplets of gore” pack a powerful punch. With titles like “Zombeanie Babies,” “Teasing the Cyborg,” “Brain Chunks,” and “The Embolism of Evil” you know you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.

Released in print on Halloween 2003, this exclusive electronic edition from Double Dragon Publishing includes 21 BONUS POEMS unavailable elsewhere, bringing the grand total of the collection up to 73 poems!

Paratabloids

Michael A. Arnzen

“Woman Gives Birth To 7-Lp Eyeball!”
“I Died And Watched My Own Surgery!”
“Ant Juice Cures Arthritis!”

Sound familiar? Nearly everyone knows that the stories in the tabloids aren’t ral, but pulp newspapers like the Weekly World News outsell most “real news” magazines. And that’s because—in some suble, unconcious way—the tabloids are reporting the truth.

In Paratabloids, Bram Stoker Award-winning horror writer Michael A. Arnzen captures that truth in 22 poems that steal actual headlines from the tabloids and tell the truth in a way that only Arnzen can. These poems all relish the outre, the insane, and the grotesque, telling the untold—and often quite touching—stories that lie right under the surface of the headlines.

“This is poetry like you’ve never heard it before!”
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